WORDS OF A PROSTITUTE IMPRISONED FOR BEING INSANE
Ayad Gharbawi
Oil On Canvas - Ayad Gharbawi
October 3 2009 – Damascus, Syria
What do I think
Who I am ?
I do not know
Who I am?
I am nothing.
That, I know
My ‘dignity’, my ‘morality’
Are scattered
As my meanings are
In fact my entire being
My entire mind
Is scattered
To have any meaningful meaning!
Do you like that?
I mean my words?
Do you like my words?
I lay down in my cell
And sometimes I entertain myself
Are you entertained?
Am I doing any good job for you?
I am and have been
Hated and loved
By idiots, all over and everywhere
And, anyway
They all receded from the muddied shores
Of my sorrowful memories
I am a ‘human’
I think
Who exists
Believing in nothing for anything to be eternal
While everyone surrounding me
Are liars killers and simple-minded thinkers of murder
Exquisite
With a love of their needs that is surely equal to
Any
Fish
With its Cold brutality
Passionate blood bursting with heat
Evaporating
And then you’ll need more heated
Blood
No?
I live in a box
You called apartments
Are you ‘humans’ serious?!
Wages stingy
Prices posh
And how then are we supposed
To make our ends meet?
And how was I supposed to pay
My wages?
Christ!
Sin or no Sin
My landlord
Wants his slimy money
Man you bastard!
You have has only committed crime after crime!
I tell you screaming
You’re the only animal
Who needs to blush
From your vomity lies
That you have been force feeding us
And that have been
That have been searingly etched all over
My skull, my dry brain that has been pounded by your lying fists
You who ‘promise’ me ‘love’ and ‘happiness’
And then you all deceive me
Leaving me alone
Unknowing humans
Are you really so ‘unknowing’?
I’m not sure, myself
Now when I look at you all
In the streets, in your homes
I feel, yes, that
You can’t think
You can’t feel
That is certain, for my security of truth
Your intelligence
Is ape-like
Beauty
Can you ever succeeded
No no no no
Beauty is well beyond you
Yes, you are beautiful for this moment
But didn’t you kind of notice
Your soul is cracked, my Dear?
