Speech Of A Woman
Ayad Gharbawi
I have no real, genuine memories
I can claim to have shared
With any of you;
Yes, don’t be surprised –
What a vile world
I lived through
With you all
Who remember me!
Those sham expressive faces
Your zealous vacant smiles,
Delightfully inert conversations
Phony, convincing under nourishing passions
I played again and again, repeatedly
For everyone’s pleasures
My senses chose to create
Forged humans within my minds
Who then played with you all
So unproblematic was it for me
You now see it was for my good self
To manipulate and stage-manage
You men and women I interacted with
And, yes, you are correct
Linguistics, cultures and backgrounds
Were no barriers for my minds
The plastic and the bone-like
Wooden ones;
And if I needed
To break, and smash
Your entirety
You Soulless Beings
Descendants of Adam and Eve
If I need to,
Yes, if necessary
I chose to
Change,
I chose to annihilate
Your criminal emotions
Your sinful motives to exist
Word by word
Bone by bone
Crumb by crumb of your
Entire physicality
Until I felt
My needs
Were satiated.
Am I
A fake?
Am I
‘Inhuman’?
Twaddle!
Listen to me you all
Faceless individuals of no
Convincing individuality:
My real faces, my minds, I do not share
My own discrete, unknown craving vices
My own veiled unsatisfied hunger and
Its longing requirements
Remain hidden
From you humans –
And good that they all be and remain so!
So how can I still
Be so much entertainment for you all?
Yes, I am a lady of eyes
That love
To stare
Your inquiries away
And yes, I adore
Staring
Your spirits till
They decay
Away
You feel I am Arrogant?
And never more humble a whisper
Have I ever met
Like myself.
Why?
Because Life is a servants’ game of chances
Wherein we flit in and out
That’s what I do so casually well
You want to know how I operated?
I fixate all my obsessions vividly and clearly
Against any opponent I feel
Needs to be extinguished
Those words inside me remain
Trapped
Because I choose for them to be trapped
And I’ll wait for you too
To make sure, I will see you
And sure you
Will crumble back to where you all began: dust
O my dear
I am alive!
And you?
Are
You Alive?
You think so?
You believe so?
Listen severely here to me;
Your sanity is vague, I remind you
And your ways and wages so mean
Your life is so distant
From your reality
While your worries so near to you remain tied
And all that you may give to Humanity
And all that you may share with Decency
None will care!
All shall
Remain alone, untouched,
Occasionally broken down in tears
Forever in that moronic
Game
You classify
As ‘Living’
And I call ‘Dying’.
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